and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
