This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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