Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
