...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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