you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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