look no pants
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
where does the pee come out of this thing
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize