I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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