Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We are two peas in an std pod
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
