hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
