Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
