Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
