xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
