I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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