I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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