i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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