He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
