Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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