Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
