i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize