living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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