The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
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How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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