i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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