I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
