sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize