Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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