I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
