Just cropdusted the office
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
