i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize