guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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