Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
did you just send me my own nude
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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