saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
