Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
