her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
