just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
