Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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