Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
