dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Welp...herpes.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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