i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
