I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
