Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
