dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
