He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
that's an acceptable place to lick
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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