I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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