I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
