I want to stick my p in your. b.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
