I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
