well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
birth control should be required to get into college
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
