I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
