wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just high enough for therapy.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
