i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
