I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
