i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
There r osticjed everywhere
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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