Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Panties = found
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
