I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize