marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
