Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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