I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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