I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
