Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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