You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
