the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
