Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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