I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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