dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize