You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
